The Importance of Having Your Own Interests

Family & Parenting, Lifestyle & Home, Relationships, Self-Care & Improvement

Why it’s critical to keep your own interests and hobbies even if they aren’t the same as your partner’s.

Everyone develops interests and hobbies as they grow up but so many adults lose sight of their passions as they start dating, get married, and have a family. While it’s natural to want to do things with your partner and family, it’s also very important to your own wellbeing and your relationships to have hobbies that you do on your own. In this post, I’ll go over how having your own interests and following your passions throughout life can help you and your relationships thrive.

Why we tend to lose sight of the things we love as we grow older.

As kids, we’re encouraged to explore life and find what things we enjoy doing. For some, that’s playing an instrument or a sport. Others may find joy in learning all about dinosaurs or beating every new video game. In my case, it was drawing and learning all about animals. It wasn’t unusual to find me with a pencil in hand at 2 in the morning working on the last details of a horse picture or some other animal. In school, I remember reaching the end of all the animal books in the school library by the time I finished first grade. I just couldn’t get enough of either.

Like many people, as I got older, I had less and less time for sitting for hours at a stretch to draw or pour over research articles on animal behavior. School, work, and relationships took up the time that I used to spend on my passions. I always told myself that I would have time to do that later. “Later” never seemed to come. By the time I got married, all my energy was poured into work and trying to spend time with my husband. We did things that he enjoyed or that our friends wanted to do, but I never stopped to do the things that I loved.

Before I knew it, I was miserable and stressed. I know that many people can relate to that. The daily responsibilities take over and we forget that we need to nurture ourselves. Our need to pursue things we love takes a backseat to getting that next promotion, our daughter’s soccer practice, our son’s violin lessons, or a weekend project with our partner. It all adds up and we push our own passions to the side to make room for everything else we consider necessary.

Why you need to take time to pursue your own passions throughout your life no matter how things change.

When you put all of your energy into taking care of everyone else and making them happy but forget about yourself, you are not able to fulfill your full potential in life. Constant stress makes us tired, forgetful, and can lead to major health issues if not addressed. Have you ever noticed that when you’re enjoying something, not only does time seem to pass more quickly but you tend to accomplish things faster and do them better? While cleaning the bathroom may not be all that inspiring, it may go more quickly if you know that afterward, you will get to spend time working on your painting or taking a class for something you’ve always wanted to try.

Doing something that you’re passionate about can help you relax, improve your health, and increase your energy levels. When you do that, you’re happier and your personal relationships will also reap rewards. Think about how you and your partner interact. I’ll bet that when you’re both stressed out, it can lead to disagreements and other unpleasant things. When you’re both relaxed and happy, you’re both much more capable of working together as a team and enjoying your lives.

How can I pursue my passions when I have no time/energy/money/insert any excuse you can think of here?

Let’s face it, as we get older, our lives seem to take over and we’re just along for the ride. However, that is a choice we make every single day. Yes, the bills still need to get paid and none of us live in a Hallmark movie where we can suddenly take a year off our jobs to work on that basket weaving interest we discovered at summer camp in middle school. What we can do though is schedule in time for ourselves and make it a priority.

Just like you manage to juggle everything else in your family’s schedule, you can add in a block of time for yourself. Did you want to learn to play the piano? Schedule in some lessons and make sure your partner knows they will need to handle the kids at those times.

Perhaps your excuse is you can’t do what you used to love because of some physical issue (I know that I can’t draw for hours on end the way I used to before RA hit). Take some time and either find a way around the issue or perhaps explore related hobbies to find one that gives you the same sort of satisfaction. While I can no longer draw the way I used to, I can take a camera out and work on getting the perfect shot of my son or wildlife at the park.

I also want to mention that it’s important that your partner have the chance to follow their passions as well. Maybe they want to take a muay Thai class. Offer to take the kids on the night they have class. By working together, both you and your partner can reap the rewards of pursuing things you love.

Conclusion:

Life can get crazy but everyone needs to take time for themselves doing something that inspires them. Leave the excuses behind, find a way, and make yourself a priority. Too many people wait until they retire to do just that and it shows in how stressed and unhappy our society has become. For you and your family, pick up that paintbrush, take that class, or volunteer with that group. The stress relief and extra energy you’ll find you have will be well worth it.

What are you passionate about? Do you have a hobby that you’ve stuck with even though it isn’t something your partner is interested in? Please share your story or suggestions below in the comments.